My oldest son finds out tomorrow if his long-anticipated construction management internship will happen.  He’s between his junior and senior year in college.  He has done his part by searching out the opportunities, going to the interview rounds, following up and carefully considering offers. 

He reconfirmed with them in April, and all was still on.

But by mid-May, as he was finishing up his work for the semester, he received their news.  Things have been set back a bit.  The firm has had to layoff some of their full-time employees.  They are not sure if they will have internships for anyone—although they are hopeful.  “But,” they noted, “if you get another offer, you should really consider it.  We’ll let you know for sure by the end of May.  We are still trying!”

Although disappointed, he was not terribly surprised.  After all, it was not his plan to be living at home right now either.  He checked with friends, and found only one still had a solid internship offer.  All the rest were in the same boat.

He’s proceeded to make what I’m going to call “dual plans”.  He has one plan for moving into the house he has rented for his senior year… and one plan to continue sharing a room with his brother.  (He gets his own room back the end of June, when his Spanish sister heads home.)  He has one plan for helping out with some projects here… and one plan for all he’d learn if the internship goes through.

Similarly, he has a whole senior year in his head…but he doesn’t know what that really looks like, either.  None of us controls anything right now.  Old ways of thinking, planning, reacting… none of it works at the moment.

My silver lining for today is in watching him.  He just sighs, perhaps complains a bit for a few hours or even a day or two… and then, he just goes forward.

It’s a good approach, really.  I shall try to mimic it a bit myself.